Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.
Ecce has never been a studio for the masses. My intention when I first opened ten years ago was never to offer back to back classes day after day. I wasn’t interested in running a fitness center. I wasn’t interested in yoga with bells and whistles. I also wasn’t willing to lose my own practice in order to hold space for others.
Having a yoga practice is like coming home to yourself. My experience has shown me that it has nothing to do with gaining a six pack or losing weight. It’s not a competition. It’s about being able to sit quietly and notice your own breath. It’s feeling into the deepest parts of your being, knowing that you are part of something much bigger and more amazing than you could ever intellectually understand. It’s about being okay with being uncomfortable and not knowing all of the answers. It’s about feeling into your life, accepting yourself as you are, and experiencing joy and abundance along the way.
I know that this is difficult work. It’s a lot easier to just go through the motions and let others tell you what to do. It’s quite another thing to seek what you want for yourself- love? joy? balance? contentment? Can we actually ask for and receive those things? Is that possible?
To stay on this path requires commitment, courage and a deep desire to find healing. I’ve been on it for almost 20 years. There have been more ups and downs than I can count. My practice has carried me through my sister’s suicide, multiple pregnancy losses, my own struggles with anxiety and depression, and my dad’s illness and passing. It has been there for me when I felt the most alone and defeated. Somehow, I’ve managed to come back to my mat over and over again, finding refuge in the dharma (teachings) and the sangha (community).
In a couple of short months, ecce will be re-opening in a beautiful, inspiring building. It’s been a long journey for Derek and I to get to this place. It feels big and uncertain. We’ve had many doubts and fears surface throughout this process. But I keep coming back to this: would the risk be worth it if it wasn’t a little bit scary?
I am excited and honored to be entering into this next phase of ecce’s life. However, I know that I can’t do it alone. I’m fortunate to have gathered together an incredible group of teachers for all of you to experience and learn from. They are passionate, skilled and most importantly, they care deeply about their students. Ecce will not only be offering yoga and meditation but movement and dance as well. My hope is that we can all find more joy and play in our lives, along with contemplation and stillness. Over the next few weeks, I will introduce you to all of them and I look forward to having their energy and passion at ecce.
My hope is that as ecce grows and changes in the new space, we will all keep rooting for one another, sending loving kindness to our sangha and beyond, and that we all keep showing up to do the work of becoming more awake.
With much love and light,